He Was Called Pete

I was an uncle before I was old enough to know what the word meant.  My oldest brother, Gene, is about 16 years older than me and was gone from home before I became too aware of things. I have no memory of him living in the house with me.

Gene married soon after leaving home and soon began his family.His son Horace Eugene Sellers, Jr. was born while I was 4 years old.  He was quickly nicknamed Peter by his parents, for reasons I'll let them explain but it has nothing to do with the British actor famous for the Pink Panther movies!

They lived far away from our hometown and visits were not frequent.  Soon Debbie, Vickie and Cathy joined the family.  While they did spend time with us a couple of summers, we were never together enough to establish really strong bonds.  And as we all grew up, started our own families and moved to various parts of the country, we never strengthened those bonds.

Seated: Shelby, L to R:  Vickie, Debbie , Gene and Cathy

Although  Peter, who came to be better known as Pete, lived close by, we were never close.  I never got to know his children very well.  Although they are all grown and have their own families, my best knowledge of them came only in the last few years through connections in social media.

Pete left this earthly existence last week.  As I'm sure happens with most families, we gathered from far and near to provide support for his children, Crystal, Bubba, Amber and Staci and for his parents, Gene and Shelby.

Pete's children and grand-children

I will admit that I approached this gathering with apprehension, I haven't seen some of them in many years and most of them might as well be total strangers.  But as we gathered and talked, ate, laughed at little, cried a little, I found myself coming to appreciate them in new ways and look at them through different eyes.

I found in Debbie an openness and candor that was so refreshing and in Vickie and Cathy, a sense of humor I never knew of. And although I still  think of them as little girls they once were, they all have grandchildren much older than mine.

Pete's kids, young adults actually, faced a situation for which they were ill prepared, as most folks would be, regardless of their age.  Having to make decisions about end-of-life issues is difficult at best.  Like most families, it took some time for them to reach a consensus but they did.  Let no one second guess them.

As I spent time with them and their kids: the sullen teens, the rambunctious pre-teens and the adorable toddlers, I found myself regretting that I haven't gotten to know them better before. It makes me want to go to my other nieces and nephews here near my home, those in Georgia, in Birmingham and in Texas and spend time with them, getting to know them and their children better.  Funerals should not be the only time to get acquainted.

My brother Gene is a preacher and has preached many funerals.  He had a role in Pete's funeral, something that not many people could do.  How he maintained his composure and delivered a powerful eulogy and message, I'll never know. I admire his courage.

This occasion  also allowed for time with my siblings.  Our sister Betty, now the matriarch of our clan, made sure everyone had a place to stay and was fed.  In her tireless way, she kept going strong for the entire week, something none of the rest of us could do.

Left to Right:  Woody, Joe, Gene, Betty, Johnny and Elmer

As we gathered, I took the opportunity to try to update my family history records.  I sat with some of the folks and got information on spouses, kids, grand-kids for  my genealogy files.  As I later input the data into my computer database, I learned a couple of things.

I always understood that the children of my nephew would be called "great-nephew or niece.".  I learned that the more appropriate term for these relatives is "grand-nephew or niece!"  Their children would then be great-grand-nephew or niece."

As I tried to verify this using various sources, which all confirmed the terms, I ran across another new concept.  Just as brothers and sisters are called siblings, nieces and nephews are called "niblings!" Check it out, I'm not making this up!

So whether they're niblings, great or grand niblings, I've developed a new appreciation for them.  I think they're all "great!"